


Gone

by mayawrites95 (mayarox95)



Series: Wish Upon A Star [144]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-05-30 11:19:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayarox95/pseuds/mayawrites95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He loses her just as soon as he gets her back</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

_“I love you,”_ she had said desperately, in a moment of despair before being carried off into the darkness. He fell to the ground as he saw her disappear, leaving only a dagger behind in the midst of it all. Her mother is screaming in the background, but he can barely hear her as there is a ringing in his ears.

He crawls over the few feet it is to the dagger, unable to stand as he is ridden with the pain of the loss. Her name, her beautiful name, is now engraved ever so boldly on the dagger, and he finds himself unable to breathe.

It’s bloody unfair. He’s known for weeks now that she was in love with him, though unable to say the words herself. But he never pushed her, for he was a patient man. Even earlier in the evening as they tumbled together on the bed, he knew what she had really meant to say in the moment, but had let her fears stop her from saying once more. He’s known it all along from the little things she’s done or said. He knew it when she said how scared of losing him she really was. He knew it when she fought tooth and nail for him to believe in himself just as she seemed to do so. He knew it with every tender touch and kiss.

But hearing her say the words, only to have her ripped away from him once more, was cruel, especially because this time he couldn’t follow her.

It was different when she was in New York. At least then he knew she was happy, despite not knowing him. At least she had her son. But now she was who knows where, and he felt like a part of him had died once more inside.

He only wished she knew just how much he loved her. He’s loved her since sometime in Neverland, seeing her fight for her family. The truth is he started falling for her from the very start, despite not knowing how to deal with his feelings.

“Mom?” he hears Henry’s voice call out from the diner. He’s confused that he can’t find her, and Killian doesn’t have the heart to break it to her son that he lost his mother once more, despite all his heroic attempts.

He knew he should have killed the Crocodile when he had the chance. For it was his fault that he lost Emma.

He wants to cry at the fact that he now has lost two women he loved because of that _beast_ , in one capacity or the other. It’s not bloody fair.

As Regina holds their son and explains to him all that has happened to Emma, he can’t bring himself to stand, or to even let go of the dagger.

He knows he could easily summon her back; for that was how the power of the dagger worked. But he didn’t know what state she would be in. Would she kill all of them, because in the eyes of darkness, love was weakness? Or would she laugh in his face and break his heart? Whatever the case might be, he wasn’t all that sure he had the strength regardless.

It’s a sad fact that he spent 300 years hunting down the Dark One, wanting to kill him for revenge for Milah. And when he moved on, it was with the purest soul he had ever met. Only to have her turn into the Dark One herself to save everyone. It was so like her to sacrifice herself that he feels like hitting himself for not predicting that something like this would happen, despite not knowing the exact circumstances.

“Killian,” David said gruffly, and he knows the man’s voice is thick with tears. It’s the third time they have lost their daughter due to darkness. He can’t help but pity the family despite his own pain, for there’s a cruelty there. For a family who always finds each other, it seems that they have to do so an unfair amount of times. “We should go back to the loft and find a way to rid the world of the darkness for good. We need to find out how to contact Merlin.”

“Aren’t you going to say we should get some rest or something?” Killian asks humourlessly, without even looking up at the man.

For all that David tried to protect his daughter from him, the two men had come to an understanding in recent months over Emma. David seemed to know just how much he cared about her, and just how much Killian was hurting at the moment.

David placed a hand on his shoulder, “I think it’s fair to assume that if we even tried, none of us would be getting any rest tonight. Emma took on that darkness because she had faith in us. Let’s not let her down. Killian, you’re family, regardless of Emma not being here, and family sticks together through rough times. So come home with us, and I promise we’ll find a way to free her.”

He’s afraid to stand up, for it feels like giving up in a way. Like maybe if he stayed here forever, Emma would return, despite knowing just how ridiculous that was.

She was the Saviour. She had magic and a heart that couldn’t be taken. He was never supposed to lose her like he lost Liam and Milah. She was supposed to be the one who he never lost.

A stray tear rolls down his face, and he’s crumbling on the inside. Regina seems to sense his inability to move, and uses her magic to take them straight to the loft.

Henry is shaking, and the first thing that he does is run straight into Killian’s arms for a tight hug. His heart breaks for the boy as he holds the closest thing he has to Emma left. He loves the boy as if he were his own son; not just for being a part of Milah or Emma, but because of the connection he shares with him.

“We’ll get her back,” Henry says with conviction.

He doesn’t say anything, but just nods.

The pain in his heart is still there, but the hope this family has brought him lessens the blow ever so slightly. As he cups the boys head, he tries to crack a smile, because maybe, just maybe, things will be okay


End file.
